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Aries |
Mar 21 - Apr 20 |
| n. 1. a decievingly plain week layed with mines of ups and downs strong enough to irritate but not maim. 2. an animal experiencing such a week. |
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Libra |
Sept 23 - Oct 23 |
n. 1. a person who has to make many decisions concerning things that have to be done next week to fix things done last week
2. an unusually drinkable red wine with a full, smooth, fruity flavour. eg. "Fuck this Libra is good!", "Fucken LIBRA", "DrINK!", *hurl* |
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Taurus |
Apr 21 - May 21 |
n. 1. a suspiciously forgiving and generous week. 2. an archaic word for belly button lint.
[latin: Tarum a type of peanut butter that doesn't get stuck in your teeth] |
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Scorpio |
Oct 24 - Nov 21 |
n. a person that will have a very boring, tedious, and or disappointing week.
vb. a form of foot massage practiced by satanic monks during the witching hour.
[Old English: Scorpiat to coat with hot wax] |
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Gemini |
May 22 - June 21 |
n. a person who will bend over to pick up 5 cent pieces so many times this week that they develop back injuries and must spend a fourtune on medical bills.
[C17: Geminitis infectious debilitating disease spread by bad ganja] |
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Sagittarius |
Nov 22 - Dec 20 |
| n. 1. a week where everyone gets a break except for you and a crazy old lady named Bad Baby Barnes. 2. an archaic text describing the alchemical process for transforming accountants into bread and wine. |
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Cancer |
June 22 - July 22 |
n. 1. the week in which unexpected things happen, and expected things happen at unexpected times. 2. a colour like red but sort of green and a little bit blue.
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Capricorn |
Dec 21 - Jan 20 |
vb. to have an ordinary week not unlike the last and almost indistinguishable from the next, eg. I really capricorned this week.
[Latin: Capri the state inbetween 'okay' and 'so so'] |
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Leo |
July 23 - Aug 22 |
n. 1. time of angst and unrest. 2. cronic fear of mormons.
vb. to jump people in dark alleys and give them pamphlets
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Aquarius |
Jan 21 - Feb 19 |
| n. 1. a peaceful wheat field from above, filled with snakes and vermin. 2. Newton's first law of laundry. |
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Virgo |
Aug 23 - Sept 22 |
n. someone that will be consumed by false hope this week due to an optomistic horoscope.
adj. Physics having properties of both waves and particles, (see Virgometer) |
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Pisces |
Feb 20 - Mar 20 |
| n. a week that goes by without you really noticing it was there in the first place, exhibiting stealth abilities and omni-absence. 2. a mythical albino hamster possessing similar properties. |
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