Mar 21 - Apr 20

n. 1. a decievingly plain week layed with mines of ups and downs strong enough to irritate but not maim. 2. an animal experiencing such a week.


Sept 23 - Oct 23

n. 1. a person who has to make many decisions concerning things that have to be done next week to fix things done last week
2. an unusually drinkable red wine with a full, smooth, fruity flavour. eg. "Fuck this Libra is good!", "Fucken LIBRA", "DrINK!", *hurl*


Apr 21 - May 21

n. 1. a suspiciously forgiving and generous week. 2. an archaic word for belly button lint.
[latin: Tarum a type of peanut butter that doesn't get stuck in your teeth]


Oct 24 - Nov 21

n. a person that will have a very boring, tedious, and or disappointing week.
vb. a form of foot massage practiced by satanic monks during the witching hour.
[Old English: Scorpiat to coat with hot wax]


May 22 - June 21

n. a person who will bend over to pick up 5 cent pieces so many times this week that they develop back injuries and must spend a fourtune on medical bills.
[C17: Geminitis infectious debilitating disease spread by bad ganja]


Nov 22 - Dec 20

n. 1. a week where everyone gets a break except for you and a crazy old lady named Bad Baby Barnes. 2. an archaic text describing the alchemical process for transforming accountants into bread and wine.


June 22 - July 22

n. 1. the week in which unexpected things happen, and expected things happen at unexpected times. 2. a colour like red but sort of green and a little bit blue.


Dec 21 - Jan 20

vb. to have an ordinary week not unlike the last and almost indistinguishable from the next, eg. I really capricorned this week.
[Latin: Capri the state inbetween 'okay' and 'so so']


July 23 - Aug 22

n. 1. time of angst and unrest. 2. cronic fear of mormons.
vb. to jump people in dark alleys and give them pamphlets


Jan 21 - Feb 19

n. 1. a peaceful wheat field from above, filled with snakes and vermin. 2. Newton's first law of laundry.


Aug 23 - Sept 22

n. someone that will be consumed by false hope this week due to an optomistic horoscope.
adj. Physics having properties of both waves and particles, (see Virgometer)


Feb 20 - Mar 20

n. a week that goes by without you really noticing it was there in the first place, exhibiting stealth abilities and omni-absence. 2. a mythical albino hamster possessing similar properties.