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Aries |
Mar 21 - Apr 20 |
| On the other side of the world a butterfly will flap its wings setting of a chain reaction that will cause you to be a fucking loser. |
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Libra |
Sept 23 - Oct 23 |
| Welcome to hotel `anonymous CVS,' where you can check out as much as you want but you can never check in. |
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Taurus |
Apr 21 - May 21 |
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Scorpio |
Oct 24 - Nov 21 |
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Gemini |
May 22 - June 21 |
| You will act like a bat out of hell, remember
that bats always turn left when leaving hell.
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Sagittarius |
Nov 22 - Dec 20 |
| While you have lost your pride and self-respect,
you have gained a clown suit and a dancing monkey. |
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Cancer |
June 22 - July 22 |
| Congratulations, women think of you as a `nice guy,' even gays get more pussy than nice guys |
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Capricorn |
Dec 21 - Jan 20 |
War! What is it good for!
Computers, RADAR, rocketry, submarines atomic fission, jet aircraft, the hypodermic syringe and new medical techniques etc. |
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Leo |
July 23 - Aug 22 |
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Aquarius |
Jan 21 - Feb 19 |
| Nuke 'em from orbit, its the only way to be sure |
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Virgo |
Aug 23 - Sept 22 |
| I thought of you while they tortured me |
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Pisces |
Feb 20 - Mar 20 |
| Give a man the soiled panties of a Japanese school girl and you will keep him happy for a day, teach him to get his own soiled Japanese school girl panties and he will spend a lifetime in jail for theft and aggravated sexual assault of a minor. |
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