Mar 21 - Apr 20

Spread a little happiness around the place by thinking happy thoughts when you shoot yourself in the head.


Sept 23 - Oct 23

Everyone is good at something, unfortunately for you being inadequate is your skill.


Apr 21 - May 21

Lie down, and place a paper bag over your head. The need for this will become apparent soon.


Oct 24 - Nov 21

Your witty comment about "Four walls does not a prison make", will cause the gaoler to move you to a triangle shaped cell.


May 22 - June 21

After years of annoying your co-workers with MENSA logic puzzles they will kill you in your completely sealed room in less than 10 minutes using only some rope, and a lit candle.


Nov 22 - Dec 20

Give a little something back to your community, consider returning that young girl you kidnapped.


June 22 - July 22

The small place deep down inside you that believed that you would one day be happy has finally died. There will be no funeral.


Dec 21 - Jan 20

Its time to let go of your current love intrest because holding their neck like that is cutting off their air supply.


July 23 - Aug 22

No, its not an April Fools Prank, the stars have deciced that your destiny really is to grow the largest octopus in the world and use it to steal the stone heads on Easter Island.


Jan 21 - Feb 19

The Mothership has arrived.


Aug 23 - Sept 22

The war is over, you can go home now.


Feb 20 - Mar 20

C is for cookie. Discuss using 3000-5000 words.