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Aries |
Mar 21 - Apr 20 |
You may be pleasantly surprised this week by a
friend or loved one. If you have no friends or
loved ones, you may be pleasantly surprised
anyway. |
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Libra |
Sept 23 - Oct 23 |
Your thumbnail icon isn't as interresting as those
of the other signs, and likewise neither are you. |
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Taurus |
Apr 21 - May 21 |
You should really stop doing that. It's disgusting
and dirty. |
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Scorpio |
Oct 24 - Nov 21 |
Things are not looking up today. You will not
have relationship problems and will not be visited
by mysterious strangers. |
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Gemini |
May 22 - June 21 |
Both of you are going to do all sorts of things,
but before you do, think of the consequences. Then
do them anyway.
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Sagittarius |
Nov 22 - Dec 20 |
Some time this week you will be hungry. Eating is
a temporary solution. The problem is eternal. |
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Cancer |
June 22 - July 22 |
There is someone behind you. Don't turn around, or
they will merely disappear. Look around for
something you can defend yourself with (anything
sharp will do). |
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Capricorn |
Dec 21 - Jan 20 |
Tonight you will be swamped by guests. Cook for
fourty. |
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Leo |
July 23 - Aug 22 |
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Aquarius |
Jan 21 - Feb 19 |
The cops still don't know it was you, but it's
only a matter of time. Put your last hours of
freedom to good use.
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Virgo |
Aug 23 - Sept 22 |
Walk down to the corner dairy or service station.
Buy whipped cream, chocolate sauce, a roll of duct
tape, and rubber gloves. Give the attendant a
wink. |
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Pisces |
Feb 20 - Mar 20 |
There is some annoying debris in your
constellation this week and it's mucking up
everything. |
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