| 
           
           |  | Aries | Mar 21 - Apr 20 |  
           
           | You may be pleasantly surprised this week by a
friend or loved one. If you have no friends or
loved ones, you may be pleasantly surprised
anyway. |  | 
           
           |  | Libra | Sept 23 - Oct 23 |  
           
           | Your thumbnail icon isn't as interresting as those
of the other signs, and likewise neither are you. |  | 
| 
           
           |  | Taurus | Apr 21 - May 21 |  
           
           | You should really stop doing that. It's disgusting
and dirty. |  | 
           
           |  | Scorpio | Oct 24 - Nov 21 |  
           
           | Things are not looking up today. You will not
have relationship problems and will not be visited
by mysterious strangers. |  | 
| 
           
           |  | Gemini | May 22 - June 21 |  
           
           | Both of you are going to do all sorts of things,
but before you do, think of the consequences. Then
do them anyway. |  | 
           
           |  | Sagittarius | Nov 22 - Dec 20 |  
           
           | Some time this week you will be hungry. Eating is
a temporary solution. The problem is eternal. |  | 
| 
           
           |  | Cancer | June 22 - July 22 |  
           
           | There is someone behind you. Don't turn around, or
they will merely disappear.  Look around for
something you can defend yourself with (anything
sharp will do). |  | 
           
           |  | Capricorn | Dec 21 - Jan 20 |  
           
           | Tonight you will be swamped by guests. Cook for
fourty. |  | 
| 
           
           |  | Leo | July 23 - Aug 22 |  | 
           
           |  | Aquarius | Jan 21 - Feb 19 |  
           
           | The cops still don't know it was you, but it's
only a matter of time. Put your last hours of
freedom to good use. |  | 
| 
           
           |  | Virgo | Aug 23 - Sept 22 |  
           
           | Walk down to the corner dairy or service station. 
Buy whipped cream, chocolate sauce, a roll of duct
tape, and rubber gloves. Give the attendant a
wink. |  | 
           
           |  | Pisces | Feb 20 - Mar 20 |  
           
           | There is some annoying debris in your
constellation this week and it's mucking up
everything. |  |