• Welcome to TCL's mince page.
  • Mince ( ground-up cow ) is very good for you. It is high in vitamin M ( for mince ).
  • Beans are high in vitamin B ( for beans ), and rice is high in vitamin R ( for obvious reasons ).
  • Coke is essential for washing down your mince-gruel, as your stomach acids
  • cannot complete the job of digesting it alone and require help.
  • One can tell if one has had a good meal of gruel when one feels like throwing up.
  • Here a several recipes based around mince and other ingredients.
  • All require certain fundamental tools: a wok, barbeque, spatula, sieve, large pot, straining spoon, arms, legs etc...

    1 Kilo of cheap beef mince.

    1 150g sachet of spicy taco mince flavouring powder

    1 420g can of baked beans

    1/3 jar of dolmio

  • (1) Lightly oil wok and bring turbines to charring heat
  • (2) Throw mince in wok, brown the mince
  • (3) Add beans and dolmio
  • (4) Beat into submission
  • (5) Stir in spicy taco mince flavouring powder
  • (9) Test on someone else
  • (10) Serve with loaf and large ammounts of coke
  • ( Serves6 )


    1 Kilo of cheap beef mince

    1 cup of white rice

    1 420g can of baked beans

    1 150g sachet of spicy mince flavouring powder

    half a jar of dolmio

    and no eggs...

  • (1) Lightly oil and heat wok
  • (2) Half fill large pot with water and boil
  • (3) Throw mince into wok, and brown
  • (4) Throw rice into pot
  • (5) Stir the beans, dolmio into the mince
  • (6) Add a cup of water to the mince
  • (7) Pour sachet of flavouing into mince and simmir until water has evaporated
  • (8) Remove small insects from the rice
  • (9) Strain rice and fold into mince
  • (13) Serve with pasty white bread and large ammounts of coke
  • ( Serves 6 - 8 )


  • Take a large baking arena and cover bottom with taco corn chips and grated cheese.
  • Make the mince-and-beans gruel with twice the sachet flavouring, and pour into the baking arena.
  • Bake at a medium heat until desperate.
  • Serve on a trampoline, with many lots of coke and more corn chips for good measure.
  • ( Serves more than 3 )


  • Make mince-beans-and-rice gruel as usual, except add another sachet of mince flavouring and 3 raw eggs.
  • Season with chilli powder and salt until your arteries harden.
  • Serve with an ambulance.
  • click
    to return to the OSOAL history page