Full Metal Baking-Tray

Act I, Scene II

Curtains draw on a urban barbaric mount Erebus. Two men and another man stroll down the slopes obsessively.

Geordi : Hello Rasputin.

Rasputin : Hello Geordi.

Thunderous laughter echos from the third man

Geordi : What on earth are you on? Rustle, rustle...

Third man blinks. Dramatic music crescendos.

Rasputin : DAMMIT!

All serenely sway in the cold wind. Enter 'Hamster'.

Geordi : Hello hamster.

Exit hamster. Curtains close.

Act I, Scene III

Curtains draw on a clammy, burlesque, snowed in shelter. Beep... Beep... Beep...Someone remembers the war. Enter Geordi and Rasputin, and a Candle. Rasputin drags on a cigarette. Geordi fights with the antique bear rug.

Geordi : I love the seaside, dont you.

Rasputin : Yes.

Geordi is bitten by a tropical tarantula and dies instantly. Rasputin drags on his cigarette. Gurgle

Rasputin : Ah, the war.

Rasputin hums a ditty of old china town. Hurricane Andrew gently caresses the windows. A wild dog howls.

Rasputin : Want a joint, Geordi?

Curtains close again.

Acit I, Scene IV

Curtains open on an empty set. Gagh! Thump

Curtains close.

Act I, Scene V

Rasputin and Geordi prepare breakfast in the snowed in hut. Geordi prepares scrambled eggs, Rasputin bones a fresh fish. The distant whine of a lonely violin pierces the erie silence.

Geordi : Eeek!

Rasputin : I could not agree with you more. This damnable prison of log and ice eats away at my fibre. I find the lack of culture astonishing.

Geordi : Swoosh

Rasputin : one... two three four five...

Rasputin and Geordi consume their meals in uncomfortable peace. The wood fire slowly extinguishes. Rasputin sighs. Curtains close.