while (the word while) Actually worth listening too. Only release work
occasionally as the band spends most of its time in detox.

~$@& (Wiggly snake, Snake on a stick, hunch back snake and a snake in a
knot.) You don't know why you like it and you only end up having to hide
the CD every time your friends come round.

8|| (a mysteron climbing a drain-pipe) This band has a listener half-life
shorter than most radioactive elements. Here today, gone sometime later
today.

^. (UFO abducting someone) The song will become so overplayed even deaf
people will realize how talentless its creators are.

L (The letter L) If you cant get this song out of your head, try cracking
open your skull.

A band consisting of 5 guys, none of which actually plays an instrument.
Instead they have foregone musical talent to concentrate on standing in a
line and thrusting their pelvises forward. The side effect of this is that
the collective number of abdominal muscles in the band exceeds the
collective IQ of itself and of its listeners.

Rating: L - He's sooo dreamy... *gag*

Rising to stardom with a song that any idiot and sing, and usually does,
this genre of music allows radio stations to put the song on continuous
play for the next three weeks just to make their DJ's seem less
mind-numbingly stupid and repetitive.

Rating: ^. - From 0 to obscurity in 60 seconds.

Yet another stereotypical rock band producing songs that can be played
either forwards or backwards with no adverse affects to the lyrics. Their
latest album is titled Rage Against The Washing-Machine and it can be
found in more places than hydrogen.

Rating: 8|| - Sticking it to the man.

When your singing career is going to end before your transition through
puberty, you can avoid such wasteful things as having the ability to sing.
Instead have a clear complexion, perky breasts and a marketing campaign
that makes missionaries look reserved.

Rating: L - They probably aren't real.

Qualifying for an alternative band label by performing a song that doesn't
contain the word 'baby', R.V.R.N. are relying on the teen-angst meal
ticket for their current album and have plans for a 'Stop saying we sold
out' single release.

Rating: ~$@& - Random Rating.

Yo G, he be a Pimpin Westside Gangsta who be keepin' it real wit his
niggaz in da hood, motherfucker. Which is roughly a rhyming version of
Mr T. Always appears with two scantily clad women hanging off his arms.
Except that instead of symbolizing his skill with the opposite sex, it
serves more to advertise that the local brothel has a
two-for-the-price-of-one sale on.

Rating: L - Yo! wassup wit dis ray'in?

With a career spanning several decades this singer has managed to delude
herself into believing that she is now qualified to comment on world
events. Supposedly being a vacuous self-absorbed pop-culture whore is
equivalent to a being political scientist. All of her concerts end before
10pm so the breeder patrons will not have to pay the babysitter overtime.

Rating: L - Die Die Die.

Four more prefabricated pop stars willing to help shovel more into the
landfill that is pop music. During each song, band members must jerk about
randomly as if there were 10 000 volts running through her clitoris. This
was especially entertaining when they were destitute of any decent lyrics
had to resort to doing a cover of Leonard Cohen's: So long Marianne.

Rating: L - Girl Power?

Essentially nothing more than Jazz music with a few Spanish words thrown
in, this song appears on the Yo Quiero Taco Bell album.

Rating: L - Run for the Border.

Preaching to the millions of despondent empty human beings who will quite
willingly purchase CD that they can wallow-in-self-pity too. Song titles
such as I hate myself so much and Drinking the pain away remind the
listener that the only way they can feel any worse is to keep on living.

Rating: while - I'm going to make all the pain disappear

#!/usr/bin/perl



use strict;

my($i, $limit, $pause);



$limit = abs($ARGV[0] || 60);

$pause = abs($ARGV[1] || 60);



for ($i = 1; $i <= $limit; $i++)

{

    print("\007\nIts time for drink: $i\n\n");

    sleep($pause);

}

    unless (open(WALL, "| /usr/bin/wall"))

    {

        die ("aieee! /usr/bin/wall: $!");

    }



    print(WALL "Its time for drink: $i\n");

    close(WALL);